Been There, Healed That….

Like most of my clients, my life has also been touched by many hardships, losses and personal illnesses.

I came from a typical yet highly dysfunction family that "looked" normal with:  

During my first 40 years of life, I convinced myself that I was very successful in making the best of all these unfortunate situations.

My body revealed my inner truth:

I pushed and push myself to be good enough until I literally BURNT OUT.

I felt stuck, powerless, too trapped to move forward in my life.

So my body did everything it could to protect me by immobilizing me.

I became a pain filled physical "mess" until I was barely able to walk around the house.

Since childhood I have been medically diagnosed and labeled with numerous real, seemingly unrelated, and often extremely limiting physical ill health conditions to just be a coincidence.

By age 12, I was driven to learn about the workings of the body and mind.

My parents only encouraged my interests in science.

To pay my tuition at university, I worked as a technician in a genetics research laboratory for 3 years, while studying for a degree in biology.

I was raised to believe in the wonders of science.

I mistakenly put modern western medicine on the same pillar.

In the real world of modern western medicine, I was repeatedly disappointed with the lack of empathy from medical professionals and their too often useless, and on several occasions, even harmful, approaches used in treating myself and later my children.

This drove me to look for answers to personal health issues in nutritional and alternative medicine discoveries and approaches.

This is when I was introduction to new-to-me energy and spiritual concepts that changed my life and my health forever.

That brilliant bolt was Caroline Myss’ books and works on energy anatomy and the mind-body and spiritual links to our physical bodies and our health.

My studies of Caroline Myss concepts created deep questions with meaningful answers for me.

I strongly identified with being a caretaker, a nurturer, a healer, a mother.

I was so committee to those life roles that I was compulsively giving my energy and soul to others while utterly neglecting my own needs.

I loved caring for my husband and children, so I couldn’t understand why my life felt very small, unsatisfying, and emotionally constricted.

I realized that I had a lifelong habit of saying "yes" to avoid conflict situations.

In my childhood attempts to try to be accepted by my parents, I buried a lot of emotions.

Even though they cared and provided for me, deep inside I did not feel they accepted and appreciated me, that they didn’t love me for just being me.

Instead, I felt manipulated by shoulds and guilt and that I was expected only to tend to the needs of family.

In order to heal my body, I knew I needed to let go of all the childhood angry, resentments and bitterness that I had buried in my body.

Healing wasn’t about blaming my parents.

Healing was about my taking mental and emotional responsiblity for how I had been restricting my own life.

I realized that I needed to change my mindset from being a victim bystander into a wellness mindset, knowing I had power to choose my attitude by changing my thoughts and self-talk.

I began to heal myself through the process of learning to accept, nurture, forgive and empower myself in healthy, balanced ways.

At first it was difficult because I needed to learned through trial and error how to set up healthy boundaries.

For most of my life, I had suppressed and hid my emotions from others and even myself, because I didn't know anyone that would accept me and my feelings as me.

I realized that I had convinced myself to live proudly practical so I could hide all my disappointments in others and justify not having what I wanted.

I had worried circles around all possible future mistakes and pitfalls since I could remember.

I had focused so much of my energies on avoiding what I feared might happen, I was actually experiencing the very life I was trying to avoid.

I had to find the courage to politely but firmly say "No"  without getting angry.

I slowly re-empowered myself by realizing I had a choice in when and how I gave to others. 

The realization that I had to accept that I would NEVER be perfect and learn to love myself anyway was a pivotal change for my life.

• I chose to stop worrying (over and over again!) about how NOT to make mistakes

• I chose to change my negative outlooks that I accepted from others' judgements

• I chose to realize how I was limiting my expectations for my own life

• I learned how to unplug from the negative victim stories of my past

• I learned to bring awareness to my old persistent and lingering hurts and wounds

• I healed by my own willingness to understand and forgive others as well as myself

• I learned to find appreciation and gratitude in the present, no matter what is happening

• I finally learned how to accept and love myself for just being imperfect, sensitive and wonderful ME,  a continuing work in progress!

If I can do it, so can you!

My own healing journey in accepting and resolving of so many health and life issues has made me more insightful, healthier and happier than I could ever have imagined.

It is my calling to assist others along their own healing path.